Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Sneak Peak of Future Rivendell Reader

A Quarterly for Folks Who Know That "Two Bits" is a Quarter

Apologies for the delay in shipment of our latest Rivendell Reader. As you might have heard, we have decided to forgo computers and other modern print technology (apologies to technophiles). We have decided that the experience of writing should not be diluted by such instruments.

So, all of our writing shall now be by quill and ink (apologies to birds and squids). If that should prove to be unsatisfactory, we are prepared to "publish" the Reader on various cave walls using local clays for paint. In a similar fashion, we have chosen to have copies of the Reader printed not by modern copiers or presses but by Franciscan monks (apologies to Johannes Gutenberg).

Also, all illustrations in the Reader are now done by JoJo, a chimpanzee in the Oakland Zoo who flings her poop at a blank canvas.

In This Issue:
Our New Draisienne Frame
Install Your Chris King Headset with a Rock - We Show You How!
Woods Valves: A Detailed History - by Sheldon Brown
Our New Woods Valve Tubes - The "Lickety Spit" by Panaracer
Moogie Ock Ock Brrrrinnnngg Look At Me Look At Me! - by Joe Starck
More New Products Excreted by Insects
Riding Across South America on a Draisienne with Only One Shoe - by Lon Haldeman
The Safe Way to Install Fenders Using Twigs and Chewing Gum
How I Invented the Time-Space Continuum - by Gary Fisher
Grant Flies to Japan to Interview Nitto's Janitor
Short on Cash: We're Stumped!
Tech Feature: You're Wrong! - by Jobst Brandt

1 comment:

R2K said...

: )